Sumer is icumen in

It’s June! Or at least that’s what they say… It’s still too cold sometimes to really believe that it’s spring, and going to be summer in a matter of days. But nature is doing its best to move things along: in-between the cold spells there are some real June days, hot and sticky… In general, there’s more light in the sky, the clouds aren’t as permanent-seeming as they have been all winter, the days are longer, and I can leave my window open in the aerie without having to put on my winter coat. Progress.

For once, I am drawn to the blog because I have some good things to say. Good news, change coming.

I’ve been hired by Middlebury College to work on a team that is creating a new online, interactive language-learning program for high-school students. I’m thrilled about the job, as it fulfills all the conditions I have made for future employment since my return from Cambodia. It’s work that I will enjoy (creative, in a field I love and using tools I have a passion for), I will be able to make my own hours and work where I please, and the pay is respectable, which means I’ll be able to finally have an apartment of my own again.

Dealing with the employment question this past year has been less a search for work than a filtering of available opportunities. I have refused to allow myself to be locked into the exhausting lifestyle I led before I went away. I ended up not enjoying many of the activities that had previously been very satisfying. I felt that it didn’t make much sense to get back into doing the same old things – this period of inactivity and healing has been a grace period, in all senses of the word, that I didn’t want to let go to waste.

I’m glad that I held fast to the conviction that waiting, this time, was the right thing to do. Waiting and visualizing what I wanted.

In other news…

Last night the participants in the singing / ringing trip to Ireland met at Camus junior high (collège) in Argenteuil to watch a slide show, eat an amazing selection of oddities (and a few home-baked pies) and reminisce.

The end of the school year is nigh, and the final concert push is here. This evening the American Church Youth and Young Adult music program will give its annual spring concert. Next Wednesday, June 16, Allucere will give its end-of-the-year concert at St. Marcel, followed by a buffet. Next Monday, the 21st of June – the Fête de la Musique – Voices will sing at the Cathédrale d’Evry, a fascinating round church with wonderful acoustics.

On Tuesday the 22nd I have been asked to do breathing and singing exercises for a group of people participating in an all-day seminar. My job will be to both relax and stimulate them so that their bodies and minds will be more available to processing the content of the seminar.

I leave for the U.S. on June 23; a quick trip to Maine to pick up my summer clothes and bicycle (yay!) and I’ll leave for Middlebury at 4 a.m. on Friday the 25th.

No rest for the wicked.

At some point before leaving, in addition to professional responsibilities and administrative things that MUST be finalized before I leave for the summer, I have two moving events: putting my appliances, which have been stored in a warehouse in the country, into other storage, as the people who own the warehouse are re-modeling. And then cleaning up and moving out of the aerie, and into thin air once again.

Well, not really into thin air. I intend to find an apartment in the fall, and I can’t keep the aerie for just a few months as it would penalize the owners – better for them to have a student right away in September. And my friend Evelyne has offered to let me stay in her apartment on the Canal St. Martin (where I’ve dreamed of living ever since I’ve been in Paris) while I search for a place of my own. I’ll have her apartment to myself, as she lives in the country. It’s a very generous offer, and I’m grateful, once again, for her friendship. (Evelyne is the one who single-handedly found places for me to store all of my Things while I was gone, and since I’ve been back.)

Health-wise, all is well. The plate was removed from my collarbone a few weeks ago, and a week afterwards I took up my violin lessons again. I adore playing the violin, simply adore it, and can’t wait until I live in a place where I can actually practice. Even with a mute, the sound is deafening here in the aerie. I do practice at the church from time to time, but doing so implies organization, which, as you all know, is not my strong point…

My leg is a bit futzy sometimes, but the surgeon says we’ll deal with that in the fall. First the plate must come out of there, and a year or so later we’ll talk about straightening it out again. I must say, I’m looking forward to that day. I don’t enjoy hearing the scrunching sounds that come from the knee joint, and can only worry that if it’s not corrected soon enough, replacing the knee altogether will be next on the list. Enough, I say, let’s just fix this and then move on!

I am badly in need of exercise, though… A couple of weeks ago I spent a little time weeding Dan and Pascal’s garden (where the lilac tree that grew up on the balcony at the rue de Paradis is happily sunning itself in a cut-down barrel next to the swimming pool) and for days I was so sore that I couldn’t move without grunting! Dreadful. I asked the surgeon if I could play tennis this summer, and he said yes, of course, but that I might find it uncomfortable. We’ll see. I have to so something, anything, to get this old bod back into its youthful shape! At least I’ll have my bike.

Maybe it’s because it’s June, maybe it’s because I have a job, maybe it’s because I don’t want do “do” Victim any more, maybe it’s because I spent months and months listening to inspirational things… whatever the reason, I feel good. I have stopped doing some of the things that were damaging to my body and psyche, and have learned that the Old Bonnie was in there all the time, waiting patiently for the Victim Bonnie to stop controlling the game and go away.

I miss the kids in Cambodia dreadfully, still, but I suddenly realized the other day that, as a Working Person, I could actually save some money up for a visit. So that’s what I’m going to do.

I can do whatever I want to do, in fact!

No, I’m not being naive and simplistic, believing that just because I say so, everything will now be all right in my life… well, but… in fact, I DO believe that. Why shouldn’t we just decide that from now on things will be just fine, thank you? Challenges and surprises can always be used as opportunities to grow. I can honestly say that I’ve had proof of that throughout my life, and especially in recent years. So why shouldn’t I believe that good things are coming and will continue to come, forever? Things are always good, it’s just a question of perspective.

And no, I’m not on morphine this time, not on anything at all. Just looking forward to the Summer of the Soul